Buggy as fuck.

0 OMGs. 0 LOLs.

Apple, iOS and actual operating systems should not be put together.

So I found this: http://www.reddit.com/r/bugwars

It’s….it’s great. It’s about bugs fighting. I know, I know.

You: Why didn’t this happen sooner, Adam?!

Adam: LET ME FINISH

And they take it pretty seriously too (As they should, right? Right?). There was a post recently by one of the three thousand people subscribed about recent subject matter. To paraphrase, he wanted more quality fighting (As in ants vs. termites) not bugs just catching meals (as in spider vs. moth). Yeah.

Needless to say, while clearly wasting my time, I managed to find something truly amazing. Enjoy that. Enjoy the fuck out of that.

3000000 OMG’s 9000000 LOL’s

Also, if you google “define: gigabyte” click the audio pronunciation, and prepare to fall in love.

Love,

Adam

Cheesy, poorly made telenovela in movie form starring Will Ferrell.

2 LOLs 2 OMGs

I just like this show, man. It’s a good show. I don’t re-watch it, though. No, sir… Now, let’s get into this review, you stupid fat cows! HA HA!

Firstly, I can’t stress enough how much Kitchen Nightmares isn’t like Ip Man. Mainly because unlike Ip Man, this show is enjoyable (Ip Man is basically an assault on your humanity).

Secondly, Gordon Ramsay… is really cool! (High fives!) He takes these restaurants in the U.K. and these restaurants in the U.S.A., which are kind of deplorable (like Ip Man, actually), and tries to turn them around. Sometimes there are even follow-up’s to previous episodes. And they’re not all success stories! OH NO! Not at all.

Thirdly, blah blah blah blah

In closing, I found Ip Man and all of its subsequent horror show sequels/prequels to be God’s filmified damnation upon human-kind and all that is good and sacred on this Earth. ‘Cause it’s terrrrible! Holy shit have you seen this garbage can of a movie? Can I even call it a movie? Is that profanity? Jesus Christ.

It’s online and stuff! Go watch it!

A billion OMG’s and one singular LOL

Love,

Adam

Let’s pretend that I’ve seen this movie.

I felt, as a professional movie-goer, that this film was superbly crafted. Good job, Christopher Nolan (I call him Chris). Really good job, man. The stuff you had Batman do? Priceless. Such a fantastic way to end your epic trilogy. And what you did with the villain guy…Dane Cook, or whatever? I truly enjoyed the suspenseful build-up to that masterpiece of an ending. I did cry. I laughed.

I also appreciate that you included a cat for a supporting character. It really hit home with me. I was able to relate.

Anyways, from probably your biggest fan ever: Thank you for not making Ip Man, which was a terrible movie. Probably the worst movie ever made.

Sincerely,

Adam

80 OMG’s, 20 LOL’s

So, in this rehash of the Superman film franchise, we find our hero in World War II China (the city is named Foshan). I am thoroughly confused as to why the writers chose China, as I (in my hubris, apparently) assumed Superman was an American superhero. You’ll also notice immediately that they’ve done away with the Clark Kent disguise for some reason. Whatever. Crazy Hollywood (Hong Kong…wood?) at it again.

Superman is clearly a douche for working in a coal mine for so long while his country languishes under the evil Japanese alien overlords. He could easily have saved the day at any point, being Superman and possessing such limitless power. Unless the coal is kryptonite now? Maybe it wasn’t coal at all…dun dun dunnnnn. That’s pretty smart actually — putting Superman to work in a kryptonite mine.

Anyways, he gets upset or something and decides to be Superman again and fights like a billion people at once and stuff, etc. Then finally, who I assume to be General Zod (thanks wikipedia) comes out and challenges him to a one-on-one fight. At this point in the movie the outcome is painfully obvious, because:

1.) Superman never dies

2.) Superman has yet to lose a fight in the film thus far

Oh…wait. Spoiler? I don’t know. Too late!

So anyways, Grade: Two LOL’s and an OMG ’cause I didn’t think they’d make another Superman movie anytime soon.

Here’s the IMDb page for this film

Aaaaand you can watch it on Hulu.com now

America. Fuck yeah!

Adam busts in through the door, “I’m fucking back!”

The imaginary people in the room look around at one another, confused.

Thinking surely, fucking surely they didn’t hear him, he repeats himself: “I’m fucking back!”

He’s panting now. The adrenaline of fucking pure awesome throbbing through his veins. Into his feet and shit, man. It’s wild.

After some silence, one says: “You were gone?”

If Adam were a balloon he would be deflated. FFffffffffzz zzz zz… zzz.

“No. No, I guess I wasn’t,” Adam manages to say despite the growing lump in his throat. The tears welling up in his eyes make it difficult to find the door and leave.

I

AM

FUCKING

BACK