So Undercover

Pretty bad. Miley Cyrus was terrible. Ari Gold wasn’t good. Chick from Project X was still at least hot. And the plot was pretty bad.

0 OMGs
1/2 LOLs

5 minutes into episode 2 review: tries to be the west wing and a comedy. Fails on both accounts

Episode 1 review: meh

This show is pretty Great (ha ha ha good job!).

Some things to consider while viewing:

1. No one appears to be a “stupid fat cow” in this series. It’s strange, but not off-putting.

2. Mr. Ramsay appears to participate in some cooking competition at the culmination of each episode, featuring etc. etc. etc.

3. I bought some new shirts recently. I understand they’re called “tunics”, but I didn’t read that anywhere.

4. Apparently Tuesdays are best for purchasing men’s clothing deal-wise. Thanks CNN! You’re welcome, Adam!

5. I’ve become sick. Cold maybe? I’m not sure. I sneeze often.

I actually found all of the episodes on YouTube. They run about forty-five minutes long, save the pilot which runs for about an hour. Season one Gordon travels India in search of curries. He finds that Indian food in England is terrible compared to genuine Indian food.  I’ll watch him do most anything (heh heh heh gross), but I was really entertained when he harnessed the power of a mighty cow to blaze around a flooded rice paddy. He takes off his shirt, revealing that he does indeed possess a human torso (I had my doubts), and gets in the ankle deep water. Step two: he grabs a harness/plow contraption and gets pulled around going really fast (not really) by two bulls. And hes holding one of their tails! WATCH THIS. WATCH ALL OF IT. IT’S VERY CONFUSING/BORING. Gordon calls ’em bullocks though. Which isn’t bizarre in itself, but I don’t call them bullocks.

In the next season he goes to southeast asia AND HE EATS A TARANTULA. JUST EATS IT FRIED. You get some interesting culinary information, I’m sure, but I’m not taking notes or anything. Look at Gordon Ramsay do things and talk with natives. “Mmmm” “Mmmm” he says that a lot when he likes what he’s eating, for instance. “That’s fucking delicious”. That too. I’m so sick. I need tissues all the time and they’ve become a precious commodity. Such a nuisance. I had to use spell check for that word over there. That “nuisance” word. I no kno wurds gooood n e more albalkdsflkd bsldkjf fdfewsdew

Gordon EAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTIIIIIIIIIIIIINGGGGGG

It looks like he’s trying to not make eye contact with the camera lens, doesn’t it? But only a little bit, because he’s not too into it. And it looks like he’s trying to unsuccessfully hide whatever he’s eating. But again, he’s not that into it either. ‘Cause I can see your food, Gordon. I can still see your food.

2 OMG’s, 3 LOL’s

Day 4,

The cold has abated. I can breathe again, mostly. I no longer suffer from the incessant “sneeze-fit”. My sinus doth not protest every waking moment. Also, I am allergic to my pomegranate body wash, because fuck me.

I actually edited this a lot, and this is what’s happened:

This banana tastes like your face looks.

Perfect? Yes, and I’ll tell you why: Is it a butchered compliment? A clumsy insult? It doesn’t matter, because all that really matters is what the person you’re saying it to thinks about what you think bananas taste like. Telepathy. I’m pro telepathy.

I recently came across four pounds of dried pinto beans, and being the Scientist that I am, I used Science and stuff to learn how to prepare (cook) them. I used this complex method which involves accessing the Google search function, and I typed in “how to prepare dried pinto beans”.

This article came up: http://www.essortment.com/cook-dry-pinto-beans-41159.html

Interestingly enough OH MY GOD IM SO BORING

It goes something like this

Person 1: Do you know who I yam?

Person 2: Potato?

I’m not done with it yet

Witty, book-smart, recluse Jeri Cho decides to move to New York City so she can pursue her dream of becoming a psychiatrist for former librarians. While there, she learns New York City life isn’t as easy as she thought! In the pilot episode, Jeri Cho’s roommate convinces her to sing for his U2/Tupac tribute band, U2Pac, in order to woo the dream man from across the hall she never knew she wanted all along. Oh, Jeri! SHENANIGANS!

**Edit: I have now seen this show, and surprisingly it is nothing like this

I had to google “smart asian woman” for this.

This is your standard Jason Statham movie. He runs around kicking ass and being awesome in the attempts to save a little Chinese girl. Plenty of action and a decent, yet predictable story.

5 OMGs and 2LOLs (chuckled at 2 or 3 scenes)

there are only 3 reasons to watch this movie

otherwise save your money. theres a lack of storyline here. Kate Beckensale and Jessica Biel are sexy as usual, but thats what the internet is for.

3OMGS for 3boobs 0LOLs
go see The Bourne Legacy: The Bournening

Amnesia movies are quite played out, and im sure bourne does it better